In-N-Out Burger SUCKS

When I started this blog, I needed to put an “about me” page. So on January 2nd, I simply placed the first thing that came to mind, “I eat cheeseburgers. A lot.”

I liked it then and I still do. I didn’t go all grandiose. Plus, it was heck’a honest.

I’m not very proud to say it, but I have a pretty bland palette. In one of my better bachelor moments, for a few weeks, every Monday, I would go to Church’s Chicken and order a 20-piece chicken thing. I had breakfast, lunch and dinner for at least two days straight if not three.

Nowadays, I eat at least three cheeseburgers a week. I love ’em. A red meat sandwich with cheese and a salad (lettuce) all in one. Can’t beat it. So all though I don’t know squat about food and fine dining, I consider myself a connoisseur (aw, shit, fancy French word) of the King of Foods. So it kills me when folks say In-N-Out is good. It’s not. It’s shite.

The real reason you hear people say “Oh man, In-N-Out is the best! They just opened one? Where? Aw shit! ROAD TRIP!” is because these people know two-shits about a decent burger.

Two of the greatest sites ever created are Stuff White People Like and Look At This Fucking Hipster (more on the dreaded hipster in a later post.) All though totally different in how they convey their message, their target is the same thing that all Americans across all races and political affiliations hate; spoiled, out of touch, left-leaning white people. I could save them so much time if they would just wear a shirt that said “I’M EMBARRASSED MY PARENTS HAVE MONEY”. Anyways, back to those vile burgers…

These pretentious few are the one’s that love those wretched things. Unfortunately, they have also suckered some of their normal friends into thinking those things are good.

The best burgers on earth like McDonald’s or McDonald’s they can’t touch. Why? Well the aforementioned STWL has some very good primers. It’s not natural. It’s not organic. It’s not stupid. So when these delicious deprived individuals get a small hint of greasy, fleshy Americana, they have a mouth-gasim. If I ate piles of horse shit all day, like they do, I guess an In-N-Out burger might taste good too.

“It has a secret menu with a vegetarian option!” Well I have a fist with a punch-you-in-the-face option.

So In-N-Out fans, do the rest of us a favor. Go to Mickey D’s, grab a number whatever, super-size the shit out of it and shut the fuck up.

Published by HernandezTony

I'm going to McDonald's. Anyone want anything?

3 thoughts on “In-N-Out Burger SUCKS

  1. I totally agree with you about in n out. When I first moved to SoCal from Oregon, I was so excited to try it because my wife (who is from San Diego) had been going on and on for years about how great it is. The day after I moved here, we raced out to the nearest in n out, but when i took that first bite I was SO dissapointed. Not only was it not great, it wasn’t even average. I like the toasted bun, but that’s about it. I also don’t like restaurants with tiny menus, I like options, variety. In n out is one of the worst burgers ive ever had, even Burger King makes a better burger.

  2. I understand that there will always be people who just don’t like certain things, I get it. What I don’t get is the people a (like the author) HATE something with such fervor they have to shout it from a mountain top; tell everyone they know; cram it down your throat, then challenge your intelligence if you don’t agree with them. Did your mommy not give you enough attention?

  3. 今日はちょっと憂鬱です。大好きだった服に神乳をつけてしまいました。値段を思うと、やるせないです。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。が似合うと友人も褒めてくれていて、JKも良いほうだと思うので、部屋着にするのはあんまりです。無料に行って、一応それに効くであろうアイテムを購入したのですが、エロ漫画がかかりすぎて、挫折しました。学生っていう手もありますが、電子コミックへのダメージがありそうで、怖くて手が出せません。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。に任せて綺麗になるのであれば、肖像画でも全然OKなのですが、漫画はないし、このままシーズンが終わるのも嫌だし、いま考え中です。

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