Woke up super early, 4am, and did a bunch of work. Then, i had to give my cat, Woo Woos, away.
I was sad because i love that guy and he helped me through a lot of sad times. Unfortunately, i had no choice but to rehome him. Enter Miguel, a guy who works as a social worker helping abused people.
My cat is not easy. He’s violent and hard to get along with. Miguel didn’t see this as a problem, but as an opportunity. I could not have asked for a better adopter. Someone filled with empathy.
But, this is not reading or writing related news, but still important. But what writing news i do have is huge. Tomorrow i start an intensive, six month mentorship with one of the greatest writers living, Kris Rusch. To say that i’ll finally get some daily words in is an understatement. Super excited and it should be life changing.
For months i have been suffering from bed rot. My lethargy is at another level. I work for a specialty pharmacy from home which is a Godsend. I can whip up emails when i get a moment’s wind and can do my job effectively. So the good news is, i am blessed with a job that allows me to work at my own pace. And Lord knows i need it.
What i need is less on my plate. I think we are all overwhelmed right now. Adding a daily chore of making a daily blog post might not make the most sense. But i still think it does.
My word count for yesterday? Zero. I did not have a good Sunday. Today will probably be the same. Is adding this daily blog post a bad idea since, it will, at times, take away from my actual fiction writing?
Maybe, but it gives me something i also need: more structure. What’s silly is, like i said earlier, i am so overwhelmed with life, i can use any of those aspects as ways of finding structure. No need to add another thing. However, i need to create blog posts and videos anyway, so i’m not really adding anything, just adding structure to something i already need to do.
Maybe shaming myself publicly about my lack of enthusiasm for daily life is what i need to do. Not insofar as i’m beating myself up publicly (although i am) but as to better reflect on where i’m at and what i’m doing to myself.
The only out i will give myself is that today is Martin Luther King Day. A holiday. So i shall give myself a kindness in that respect.
Tomorrow i donate my cat, much my own heartbreak and then i start in something exciting on Wednesday.
More on that tomorrow.
Remember, just getting by isn’t a failure, it’s a success. Especially in today’s Trumpian dark times.
“Go big or go home” usually leads us to going home. That’s the rub that no one talks about when they bring up that quote or its equivalent. Lofty goals can be, well, lofty.
I went to church this morning and was gonna post my third video there after mass. But i was too tired. Now that i’m home, i’ve been laying in bed, not able to do a thing. No way the video was being made today.
But then i remembered, the goal is to make a blog post everyday. I remember when Dean posted something like, “Here’s my daily blog post so i don’t ruin my streak. Bad day. Talk tomorrow.” Something like that. Probably not as long! His goal, that i now share, is writing a blog post each day.
Did i want a video for the first straight seven days? Sure. But do i have the energy? No. Is that a reason not to post? Heck no.
I also know that i will have those, Here’s-my-post-so-i-don’t-break-my-streak, posts. That’s fine. But i want every post to matter. So here’s some guidelines i want for my attempt at posting everyday to have.
Make it about reading or writing…or both. I’m a writer…and a reader. This weblog should focus on my craft. Even this post, about accountability is about writing and the need to be consistent.
I will share the previous day’s word count and try to update folks on what i’m reading. Yesterday i wrote 0 words. I want you to read a different number mañana. Accountability is huge, particularly for me. So i like this idea.
A small story i’d like to share is, for the sake of my mental wellbeing, i’ve taken a huge step back off of being on social media. It’s had a cool, second blessing i didn’t even consider.
Like yesterday, my buddy Dan who’s a huge YouTuber, knows that i have a crack addiction to a form of crack cocaine called Formula One. He’s done some cool stuff that he shared on TikTok (a social media platform i rarely visit) re: some of his partnerships with F1. He didn’t send me some lame DM. He texted me, like a real friend. This is the second or third time this has happened.
Since people are on social media, it gives folks a false sense that they are staying connected with their friends. The irony is that, of course it’s not. So my buddy sent me some amazing pictures and videos i wouldn’t have received otherwise. My taking a break from social media has made me have stronger connections with friends and family. I received vacation texts from a friend a little over a month ago. She knows i don’t look at Instagram Stories anymore and wanted to share her adventures with me. That was awesome! Just like Dan’s texts from yesterday, getting off of social media is slightly returning things to the way they used to be. A very happy accident.
Okay. Gonna goof off now. I could lie and say that i’m going to work on those words i promised you tomorrow but like i just said, that would be a lie.
Like any artist, i am not a fan of AI. I refuse to use it in my creative process or in any of my work.
However, i would be lying if i didn’t admit that i have dabbled with AI.
When Midjourney first came out, i was addicted. I was making mock book covers and tons of images. In fact, i did break a cardinal sin and i had one short story with an AI generated image as its cover. And for that, i’m sorry. The good news is, i have remedied that mistake and have replaced it with a cover made by someone from Fiverr.
What stinks is, there is so much hatred towards AI, i can’t use it for something i’ve always dreamed of: using my own voice for audiobooks. Now, i have a short video of a chapter of a book done with AI using my voice. Unfortunately, or fortunately, i have never been able to do a full story that way. I can’t afford it. I’m not a voice actor but would love my fiction read by me by a computer program. But since AI has such a bad rap, i won’t be doing that. If i publish a nonfiction book, i’ll have to record that using my voice without the help of AI. It’ll probably sound terrible, but i cannot cross the AI picket line.
So, yeah. I have dabbled in AI, and it sucks. I even asked it to help me outline a book or help me with a part i was stuck in to give me ideas. It was the worst. Tinsel Town already does a fine job of creating formulaic movies and shows. There are books on how to outline and copy and paste your story. So in that sense, AI has already been around and has always been terrible. I write without an outline so i don’t do any AI writing, either digitally or with the help of the paint by numbers books out there. Just watch most streaming shows and movies to witness the same, soulless garbage out there. Computers aren’t needed for that.
So, yeah. No creative writing, editing, or book covers or art will ever come from me. Except for that one time i did it for a book that no one bought. My mistake.
One of the most important things anyone can do is to fail in public, so that’s what i’m going to start today.
One of my mentors, Dean Wesley Smith, has been blogging every day. For how long? Since August 1st, 2012. That’s 13 years, 5 months, and 16 days as of this publication. Or, for those keeping count at home, that’s 4,919 straight blog posts.
So, i say screw it. I’m gonna do the same. Now, here’s the rub. I need to create more content, especially in the video world as well, so i’m going to try to start my daily blog journey with video blog posts. How will i try this? There are now amazing applications that can help edit your videos. What used to take hours or 100s of dollars and hours is now easy. Or so they claim. We’re about to find out together.
I know that this is ambitious. Way too ambitious. So i figure that most of my daily blog posts will just be of the written variety. But i am going to try to do as many video blog posts as i can. Will it be 50%? 1%? Will i quit after just today? We’re going to find out together because chasing your dreams, like i am with being a storyteller, is failing in public. And i have no doubt that this will be no different. How i fail is a different story that we’re going to find out together. My hope is to fail up.
And finally, like everything else in the world, i will be trying this using AI powered video editing. To be clear, i am against all things AI. All the images that you will be seeing in these edits will be from existing, real images that were created by real people. No AI images will be used. In fact, i have a lot to say about AI. But that will be for the next video blog post. For now, this is just an introduction of a writer documenting his storytelling adventures trying to mix both written and video media.
Let’s see if i can make it two days in-a-row. Then i’ll only have 4,917 days to catch up to Dean.
Style note: As always, the author intentionally misspells the pronoun i by writing it in lowercase
In the 41st week of 2025 AD (early October) i went to Europe. More specifically, i went on a dual humanitarian mission focused on helping the people of Ukraine.
The first and most important part was being an escort for a great-grandmother to honor her fallen US Marine son who died near the Russo-Ukrainian War frontlines. The second part was to help people with hemophilia, von Willebrand Disease (vWD), and other bleeding disorders.
How’d I Get Even Get Into Ukraine? And Why?
The grandmother i was escorting is a coworker of mine, Sochi. Her son, USMC Ian Tortorici, was killed on 27th June, 2023. He was on a short leave and having dinner at RIA Pizza along with some other 80 people when an Iskander SRMB (short-range ballistic missile) hit the parlor, killing 13 people, including award winning author Victoria Amelina and Ian. An Iskander is the spiritual successor to the infamous Scud missile. A weapon of that magnitude targeting civilians is an all too common characteristic of Putin’s literal use of overkill.
USMC Ian Tortorici’s Pictured Here With Ukrainian Call Sign / Nom de guerre, Торторічі, in Cyrillic on the Russo-Ukrainian Frontlines
In the coming sad days, Sochi heard from Ian’s Ukrainian fiancé, Nadiya, that there were several memorials for her son in Ukraine. Sochi told me that she would like to visit them one day. That got the cogs in my brain moving. I understand all too well that the Russo-Ukrainian War is the “Freedom Front” being fought on the world’s stage. I wanted to help. And, if i’m completely honest, i wanted some adventure as well. I’m, one, a male and, two, without children. In my eyes, that makes my life expendable, so going to an active warzone was an easier choice for me than for others.
Myself And a SeaBaby Drone in Front of The World War II Museum. Ironically, In a Wonderful Circumstance of Providence, Less Than Two Months Later A SeaBaby Would Carry Out Her Most Successful Operation and Take Out One of the Russian’s Shadow Fleet Transports
But how would i get there?
Well, whenever i travel, i try to do two things. One, check out the local sports’ scene and, two, try and see how things are with the local bleeding disorders community.
People think i’m ambitious. I guess. More than not, i’m just stubborn. Like, really stubborn. If i want something, i nearly always get it. It’s not because i’m good at everything, that’s for sure, but i get good at several disciplines and i nearly always get the diverse things i want. How? By asking and trying and eventually failing. But then i repeat the process. Do it enough, you’ll get what you want. Even if it is after the 100th time.
So i sent a mass email to anyone and everyone i could find online in Ukraine that worked in hemophilia. Doctors. Treatment Centers. Bloggers. You name it. I reached out to 23 people. I got 22 denials. Fortunately, i received one response. And that’s all you need. Sergiy Shemet, a board member for the Ukrainian Association for Haemophilia and Haemostasis ‘Factor D’, UAHARD, reached out to me.
Blood Brothers and Sisters Inside the Lobby of Hotel Ukraine, Where the Russo-Ukrainian War Started: l-r Nina, Sergiy, myself, and Mikola
I immediately addressed the elephant in the room. I told Sergiy and Nina (another volunteer with hemophilia) that i understood the skepticism about me reaching out. Russians are the worldwide experts at digital espionage. Every person that reaches out to help those that are fighting for our western freedom are more like than not spies for the enemy, pretending to be someone who they are not. I knew that the burden of proof was on me to show that i was not a bad faith actor. I shared my limited personal social media accounts and shared pictures. We talked and they began to trust me, although with heavy doubt, as they rightly should. The turning point in our relationship was when Sochi got involved. There was no denying that her son had been killed. His fiancé in Ukraine could vouch for him and for herself. Once the hemophilia group i had been talking to started talking to Nadiya, everything started to fall into place. Once the Ukrainians started talking to other Ukrainians, they started to understand that i was legit.
The Photo That Made Headlines Across Europe: Nina, Infusing her Daughter As Their Home Was Being Attacked by Russian Forces. This Image Made An Impact Across the Continent That, Not Only Are Everyday Lives Under Attack, So Are Those With Chronic Medical Conditions. Von Willebrands and Bleeding Disorders Helped Crystalize This Tragedy to All of Europe
As for the why, it’s pretty simple. Nearly 100 years ago a madman invaded Eastern Europe with his eyes on ruling the world, with his ultimate goal of destroying America. Today, a madman has begun his invasion of Europe through the east with the same goals. Less than a year ago, all students in Russia started to begin their classes with the phrase, “Death to the West and death to America.” That is the reality to this very day. We all watch movies like Saving Private Ryan and tell ourselves that we would have supported the side of the Allies. Every reason and justification that we had to fight in the European Front of the Second World War is the same reason today to fight in today’s European Front of the Russo-Ukrainian War. Since i have eyes and more than one brain cell, supporting the good guys and wanting the bad guys to lose is an easy choice. For me, at least.
Nadia and Sochi, Ian’s Fiance and Ian’s Mother, respectively, With Ian’s Kit On Permanent Display At The World War II Museum In Kyiv, Ukraine
Save More Than One Life
This brings me to the amazing work of many partners, but i would like to highlight one in particular.
But before that, a brief note on our main mission, honoring Ian and other fallen innocents.
In the Ukrainian capital of Kyiv, there is a monument called The Maiden. Outside The Maiden is an organic memorial. Literally thousands upon thousands of flags and photographs of the fallen. We visited Ian’s makeshift memorial there. We also visited his church where he prayed and worshiped since he converted to the Ukrainian Church and there’s a picture of him along with the other hundreds of dead parishioners. Finally, we visited his memorial at the WW2 Museum. Not only did we honor Ian, we also attended the American funeral of Kyzyl Bowden, a 22-year-old U.S National Guardsmen. I can write a book about the sights and experiences of bravery and courage we witnessed. Needless to say, it was an honor to honor and respect those who are still fighting and dying in World War Two. That war may have ended for Americans, but not for others.
The second reason i was there was to help the bleeding disorders community. We weren’t sure how to help. Visit hospitals? Visit associations? Finally, we settled on meeting with Sergiy and Nina and they introducing me to my fellow blood brothers and sisters. But that wasn’t all. Sochi and i brought along a ton of factor to donate to the people of Ukraine. This was done through the amazing work from the equally amazing women at Save One Life.
Save One Life provided so much factor that, my carryon was nothing but factor and my toothbrush. Seriously. The factor was then distributed to three different families in three different regions of Ukraine. One such factor delivery was sent to a young man who was recovering from surgery. Had it not been for the generous donation from Save One Life, that young man may not have been here with us today. I have no words.
Fourteen Year Old 8th Grader, Pavlo Papucha, and His Father With The Factor They Received From Save One LifeThe Horse That Pavlo Drew For Me As A Thank-You. I Have Never Met Pavlo, But I Have Asked Him To Hold Onto This Drawing. I Will Get It From Him Personally Once This War Is Over
To clarify one thing, Save One Life has official partners around the world. Right now, Ukraine is not one of them. It’s not that Save One Life does not want to help (obviously) but it’s more of a paperwork, logistical thing. The folks in Ukraine understood this as well. There would be no (for now) supporting of individual children, no continued visits and factor support in the upcoming future. And that’s fine. In fact, that just proves how amazing Save One Life is.
Save One Life could have easily said, “Ukraine is not an official partner at this time. So we cannot help.” Totally acceptable and understandable. Instead, Save One Life did help and tremendously so. The pessimist might think, what good is one shipment of factor? The honest person would see the truth. Save One Life literally helped change and better the financial situation of a nation under invasion for at least three months if not more. Think about that. Save One Life’s donation helped ease the massive burden of helping those with life threatening illnesses. Their donation helped defray medical costs across an entire nation’s medical system. Their donation helped Ukrainian medical staff focus more attention to the wounded.
In short, Save One Life has saved several lives and helped ease the burden of those under attack in Ukraine. They didn’t just help, they helped change the world into a better place. I can only wish to have that type of impact one day. It was tectonic.
I close by saying thank-you to Save One Life, but that feels terribly inadequate. There just isn’t enough words in the English language to truly explain the Earth shaking good work that Save One Life does for the bleeding disorders community. These little black marks are just a poor man’s attempt to shed a light of greatness that the great women at Save One Life have done and continue to do.
Thank-you is not enough, but trust me, the people of Europe under siege do appreciate the colossal affect that Save One Life does day in and day out.
Style note: As always, the author intentionally misspells the pronoun i by writing it in lowercase
I need to get back on track with blog posts/articles on this here blog. I also need to start doing newsletter which i’ll probably post here as well. We’ll see.
But, yeah. Today’s article (forgive the pretentiousness; cannot stand the word blog; sounds like a noise you make while vomiting) is going to be a copy and paste of one comment i made on two different YouTube videos.
As of late, i have been obsessed with one particular thing in this, the 2,025 Year of Our Lord. And that obsession is anti-intellectualism. Or, how much we celebrate and reward uncouthness.
I’ll be getting more into that at a later time, but for now, i wanted to share my exact comments that i left on both videos.
These videos are a must watch and they are rightfully critical of intellectuals and those that call themselves that. My point is, that while that is a problem, the most glaring problem in the United States right now is how being dumb is not only lauded, but awarded.
Anyway, i will leave you now with the comment i put on both videos. The links to the videos are including at the end of the comment below.
t.h.
❧
Dear Dr. Ana and Mark,
Let me preface this comment by emphasizing how spot-on and correct you both are re: intellectuals and your critiques about them. I cannot find a single fault in either of your diverse takes and approaches to the problems re: bad intellectuals and pseudo-intellectuals.
However, this message is the whole cart before the horse idiom. We need to have this conversation later. While intellectuals and pseudo-intellectuals need scrutiny, i believe that the number one problem facing our world is the embracement of anti-intellectualism.
The irony is that, both your videos inadvertently address my concern by putting a splash of water on the fire of anti-intellectualism while at the same time giving the anti-intellectualist movement a gallon of gasoline.
As i’ve said, my bane is anti-intellectualism. And anti-intellectual plebs get their talking points from false messiahs, intellectuals who get it wrong and pseudo-intellectuals.
Again, chapeau on on calling out bad actors of intellectualism. However, the thing we should be focusing on, in my opinion, is the anti-intellectual movement that has taken over the west, and is the primary default of American society circa 2025. Right now, society embraces and cheers on the dullard. That’s cray-cray.
So while you guys do go after the head of the snake of anti-intellectuals— poo emoji intellectuals and pseudo-intellectuals—we’re not smart enough to see the nuance that the biggest culprits are the ones feeding these faux-intellectuals; the anti-intellectual masses. I, and most people, i assume, would love to see you guys tackle anti-intellectual, the largest problem in the United States right now (i think).
some people can’t get over their Resistance (Google Stephen Pressfield) and commit to writing. Their Critical Voice (Gooogle Kristine Kathryn Rusch and/or Dean Wesley Smith) is so high, they can can’t even get themselves to publish a silly little blog post.
stop making writing a “big” thing. it ain’t. it’s just words.
Do you need permission from a “real” writer? Here you go. Hit print and stick this to your wall. I now pronounce writer and blogger. yiu may kiss the bride.
“But what if it isn’t perfect?”
“I’ll do it when i’m ready.”
you breathin’? Yeah? Then you’re ready. Does it need to be perfect? heck to tha no.
trust me, if an aspiring author can write and piiblish a small blog covered in spelling errors—like failing to capitalize the 1st letter of a sentence—then you too can start blogging.
Welp, as you can see by my inconsistent posting is because i have not been consistent with my writing. As of this writing i am at 13,595 new words. Kris is at… (Tony checks his email) Egads! 35,994 words. Safe to say i will not be catching up or staying with her which is fine.
The things that stopped me were and are:
“Celebrating.” While i finished a super-cool story because of this challenge and also had another half-finished story in the wings, i thought, “No prob. Not keeping up with Kris. Why not take a day off?” Big mistake. All momentum went fart sound.
“Project Block.” As you well know, there is no such thing as writer’s block but Project Block. Since i’m writing into the dark these days ala Stephen King (e.g. no outline) i tend to freeze in fear. Just ’cause i’ve published a few books doesn’t mean the O.G. of original fears don’t come up: I Don’t Know What To Write! Of course the answer is easy. Write the next sentence. And the next. Easy to say, hard to do.
“Work/Health.” Not sure if it’s because i took two different vaccines over two weeks or what, but i fell into a depressive funk last week. Work was actually great! I don’t like getting hit with a stick and work has been very nice with my lack of energy and my sensitivity towards being unappreciated. It had nothing to do with that. I was just swamped with work. I was working or napping. That’s it.
So, this is where i was and am.
Also, i haven’t been sending my blog updates as emails ’cause these are not regular “marketing” emails but more like exaggerated social media posts. I’ma say screw it and just send these along with an email notice. If it’s too much, i figure you can just unsubscribe.
I will be re-starting the challenge tomorrow… kind of. Since this is a blog post, e.g. readable words, they will go to the total New Words of my writing journey but, if i’m honest, even this feels like cheating. I mean, it is taking time away from doing other things like not doing anything. I will share my excuses as to why i didn’t write, some a smidge more valid than the other, but in the end, all excuses all the same. First, i got my shingles shot yesterday. No, i’m not 50 yet, but i’m having a procedure where 5% (or 1 in 20) people got the shingles. And since i’ve had chicken pox and the al full-on shingles outbreak when i was 25, i took the first of two shingles vaccines. Every year like everyone else, i get my Covid vaccine and my flu vaccine. And i say everyone ‘cause stupid people don’t read my words. And, sure enough, i get a 24-hour fever. Not fun. Same here. So that knocked me out. Then there was the real reason i stopped writing; i finished a book (thanks in full part to the Kriss Relaunch Challenge) and decided to “take a day off.” Well, as you can see, that one day lasted 3 Earth days. Funny how that works. I have several self-mottos but this is the one that i can only remember with any consistency: pick your pain. Everything hurts. Everything sucks. So you gotta chose which of the sucks, which of the pains, you want. Did it feel good playing my historical war games? Heck yeah! Did it suck having the enormous boulder of shame follow me everywhere i went? An even bigger heck yeah. On top of that is the pain of me not getting to my dream of being a full-time author sooner. Sure, i’ll be enjoying living in Europe one day raising a little European family with that one crazy Mexican-American dad, but life is short, i deny myself that reality one less day. So, now when i weigh that against the “pleasure” of resting and playing historical wargames, that pain relief starts looking more and more painful, doesn’t it? Anyway, a major lesson was learned on this challenge. Momentum is massive. In life, sports. Everything. If i take a break from writing, just take it slow. Do a blog post. But never stop. Whenever you are in a state, you are likely to stay in that state. So if you’re moving, you should stay moving. If you’re staying scratching your belly, you’re gonna stay there doing that. Next time i want to celebrate, i have to remind myself, i am giving up pain for another pain. The sometimes painful act of sitting down and making stuff up (it’s actually a ton of fun) or doing the pleasurable thing and playing historical reenactments (actually painful since my guilt refuses me to live in the moment.) All right. Good night. Me going sleepy now (if the cat lets me.) I plan to do a lot and fail at most of them this month. One thing i won’t be missing, though; writing New Words.
Tony Hernandez dot co 